The Light Inside
Updated: Dec 17, 2020
It is no secret that I have absolutely no business running a business. As a matter of fact, economics was my first C in college. The other teachers at my studio got me a hilarious tee-shirt for Christmas that reads "95% yogi, 5% business" which is so true. I am a terrible business person. I forget to pay the teachers. I put receipts in my pockets and then wash them. All my bills are on auto-debit because I can't be trusted to remember to pay them. I am pretty sure my accountant thinks I am a nightmare. I lose sleep over the business stuff because it is just not my thing. So with that said, I decided it would be a good idea to buy a rundown building downtown that needs a TON of work, expand my business and essentially start a second one. P.S. I have 5 (I am literally up to 5) other jobs. Why in the hell would I think this was something I should take on? It's because of the light that's there...
I have had this deep (and growing) desire to hold space, build community and help people learn to heal. Which is great right?! I mean can't we all just lay on the floor, align and breathe? But I kept running into hurdles that made the business aspect feel, I don't know, icky. It’s not that I don’t value what I offer, it’s that I feel like it should be available to everyone. It was frustrating and unsettling, but I have a wise teacher that asked me if I was running a business or following my devotion. A freaking light bulb went off! The parts of it that were unsettling for me were just that, it's not just a business for me. THERE WOULD BE NOTHING WRONG IF IT WAS A BUSINESS FOR ME, but it just wasn't.
I want the “business” to be self sufficient and to keep my teachers compensated, but it is something deeper than that. Those of you that come to my classes have heard the story, I tell over and over, about our humble beginnings. I say "Each of us are lit from the eternal flame, this flame with no beginning and no end". I talk about the light in my heart honoring and seeing the light in your heart. I say "We are one, we are the same and I bow to you". That's just it. That light in you, I can literally feel it. I can feel when it's dim and when it's shining bright. Before I knew that I could feel other peoples light I would get tangled into this sad web of depression and anxiety. Thankfully with yoga, Reiki (and once upon a time some meds and therapy) I was able to move past these cycles of pain. I want that for you. I want you to be able to tell when you are off. I want you know what you can do to make yourself okay, even in the most challenging of situations. And then actually do it.